Work, Rest, and Seasons of Chaos

Hello again! I have been away from this blog for almost a year now. Why? So many little things. Actually, some big things, too. I’m so excited to ramp this blog back up, but before I jump back into our regularly scheduled programming, I wanted to share a few updates on where I’ve been and what I’ve been learning about work, rest, and chaotic seasons.

1. Work

I switched jobs! Shortly after having Charlie, I went through a little quarter-life-crisis trying to figure out if I wanted to full-time childcare or work outside of the home. I would really love to do both. But you can’t have your cake and eat it too. So eventually I decided that the best fit for me right now would be a job that was fully or mostly remote. So essentially…a mom who stays at home, but not a stay-at-home mom. It was a difficult decision. It still is. And I have a feeling it always will be.

But the great news is that after a lot of prayer (and probably too much worrying), I found a position at a local company with great people, and I’m loving it. I am in the same type of role as before (an IT Product Owner), but we are fully/mostly remote. My kids go to daycare 2 days per week and are at home with trusted family members or friends 3 days per week. It’s working for us, and I am thankful.

My takeaways:

1. Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job in the world. Don’t judge.
2. Being a working mom is the hardest job in the world. Don’t judge.
3. Pray, pray, and then pray some more. About anything and everything.
4. Working remotely is amazing. Only good thing to come from the pandemic.
5. The people you work with can really make or break a job.

2. Rest

I had my second baby last year. My oldest just turned 3 and my youngest just turned 1. So I’ve basically been spending the past year in survival mode, barely sleeping, with little to no margin for things that I want to do.

Since having babies, I’ve had a few people say things to me like, “You’ll be amazed at what you can do on so little sleep!” But I’ve got to say, I have NOT been amazed with myself. Far from it! I don’t do well with little sleep or interrupted sleep. And that’s okay. But it’s also been a bummer to feel like I’m “not doing well” for so many days over the past year. And I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I let that spiral into a bad attitude about many things…

I recently came across an Instagram post with these words which really resonated with me:

“It is true that we need sleep. Sleep is a good gift from God. God does not treat our physical needs lightly. He is the one who created us with these needs, and he delights in meeting them. But, as with many good gifts that meet our needs, this one had become an idol to me. My heart was telling God, ‘I cannot trust your care for me unless I have sleep.’ My hope was in the gift, not the Giver.”

– Sara Wallace via @thegospelcoalition

I am really working on learning what it means to find my rest in the Lord. To prioritize but not idolize sleep. Even when my body is tired, I want to find my hope in the fact that my soul is at rest. If anyone has any practical tips or helpful scripture, PLEASE don’t hesitate to send my way!

3. Seasons of Chaos

This year has been a bit of a roller coaster as we’re swinging between the highest of highs and the lowest of lows…

At the beginning of the year, my best friend and my sister got engaged, and I have the immense privilege of being a Matron of Honor in both weddings this fall. It doesn’t get much better than that!

But shortly into the beginning of the year, we found out that my father-in-law’s cancer was terminal, and we lost him in June. It doesn’t get much worse than that. I struggle to find the appropriate words to explain grief… After nearly 9 months of feeling it and watching some loved ones feel it even more deeply, all I’ve got to say is this: It sucks.

So the blog hasn’t been the priority. And I was happy to let it go so that I could focus on more important things for a time. But I am also excited to have more margin, both emotionally and logistically, to be here again now.

Here’s the thing: I love to implement systems that simplify, organize, and improve life. That’s what I’m going to keep talking about here. But sometimes you’re just in a season of chaos, and sometimes you do not have time to refine it. Embrace your season. Whether you’re feeling chaotic or refined, God loves you just as you are, and you can rest in that.