How To Make Delegating To Babysitters Easier
My fellow moms: Have you ever felt frenzied as you try to tell the babysitter everything before you get out the door? Or stressed as you try to explain to a babysitter how you want something done? I am so incredibly grateful for our village of babysitters. They’re the best. But the funny thing is—no matter how amazing the childcare situation is—I always have a little bit of underlying stress about the process of delegating to babysitters.
Why Is Delegating So Stressful?
The reason I think that’s true is because, as the mom, I am the ultimate decision-maker for my children. (My husband plays a big part in this as well, but I do more of the detailed, day-to-day decision-making when it comes to caring for the children… It’s just the way it naturally works for us.) This is absolutely the way I want it to be, but decision-making also requires work. And that work naturally occurs throughout a day of parenting and childcare, but when you’re preparing for someone else to do the childcare, you have to do that decision-making work ahead of time, and then figure out a way to communicate it. So a lot of times it feels like even MORE WORK up front.
This is just a fundamental truth, so I think acknowledging and accepting it will help you better prepare for the situation in general. Plan ahead for the extra time and effort it will take to do the delegating… That needs to be considered as part of the time cost of having the babysitter.
But I do think there are practical ways to make the process of delegating to babysitters faster and smoother, so in today’s post I’m going to hit on my top 3!
Best Practices For Delegating To Babysitters
1. Be Decisive
You are the parent, and you are the decision-maker. Typically it is far more helpful to be straightforward and decisive about a rule than to “be flexible”… because being flexible ultimately puts the decision-making work in the hands of the babysitter. And although that is sometimes fine, it’s usually better for both parties to just set a clear boundary. For example: What time is bedtime? “7PM” is much more helpful than, “It doesn’t really matter, but we usually do sometime before 8PM, and it really depends on her mood…” Even if you operate with much more flexibility than structure when YOU are caring for your child, it’s usually easiest to implement more structure with a babysitter so that everything is decided up-front. With clear boundaries, you and the babysitter will probably both spend less time worrying.
2. Document Routines
My job in the corporate world has taught me the value of having clear documentation for any process that is repeatable—often called “standard operating procedures”. Think about this at home: Do you have any routines that are usually the same? Write them down. Not just as a one-time communication for the next babysitter, but as a permanent thing in your house (until the routine changes, of course). This prevents you from having to write things down for each new babysitter. You do it once, and then it’s done for all of them. Here some routines you could consider documenting semi-permanently:
- Overall daily schedule
- Bedtime
- Naptime
- Morning
- Mealtime
- Bottle prep
- Diaper change
- Potty break
- Screen time rules
- Discipline rules
- Emergency contacts
- Allergy information
Note: This is more difficult to do for newborns and infants, because they don’t have as much structure in their days. I would still recommend documenting the small routines (ex. bottle prep, diaper change) as permanent notes, and then write down the target schedule or order of when each of those events happen on a daily basis. For this age you might also consider filling out a one-time babysitter guide like this one by Taking Cara Babies.
3. Put Notes & Labels In The Right Spot
Not only do the contents of the notes matter, but the location of the notes matter. Put them in the place where the babysitter will be when they need them. I used to write everything down and hand over a stack of papers in the kitchen, but now I’m realizing that things like bedtime routine are more helpful up by the bedrooms.
Additionally, having labels in the right spots prevents you from having to write it down or explain it at a different point in time. Ex. Where are the back-up diapers? If you put a little label at the diaper changing station that says, “Back-up diapers are in the closet,” then you don’t have to scramble about thinking, “Is the changing table re-stocked?” every time a babysitter comes over. You can simply trust that your house is set up with easy-to-follow systems.
Why It’s Worth It
Yes, this documentation and labeling takes work and time. But think of it like an investment: By taking the time to do it well up-front, you will save yourself time whenever you have a babysitter, and you’ll gain that time back. Plus hopefully a little bit of peace and sanity as you go off to enjoy whatever you’re doing out of the house!
Delegating to Babysitters & Mom Stress
I’d like to end by saying this: You can feel both grateful and stressed at the same time. Sometimes I think that happens while delegating babysitters. And those emotions can both be allowed simultaneously. Just because you’re stressed doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful for the help you’re receiving, and therefore you are allowed to voice your feelings. It can be really confusing as a mom, especially a new mom, when you’re feeling such a mix of positive and negative emotions at the same time. The negative ones don’t discount the positive ones. So be honest with your people. And always, always reach out for help if you need it. (I am not a doctor nor a psychologist, just a fellow sometimes-overwhelmed-yet-still-very-grateful mom!)
Here’s to hoping you all get the rest you need for today!
